Early A.M.

I wish sleeplessness didn't occur in the dark. When the birds are visible outside my window, I am better equipped to rally my optimism.

During this past week I've been waking up around 3:30 am, anxious. Mostly my worries revolve around predictable, pregnancy/baby-related fears. What is a sheet saver, and why do we need 4-6 of them? How many hats does a baby need during a winter in the Midwest? Will we need to buy a stroller with extra rugged wheels b/c of our road, or will we always need to drive the baby and stroller into town so we can walk along sidewalks, and along roads with a 25 mph speed limit? Is it already too late to install new carpet in the baby's room b/c of those new-carpet vapors? Will our baby develop weight problems because I can't stop eating Halloween candy?! Ugh. I know logically that we will be okay and we will eventually figure things out. Yet I feel nauseated over the prospect of being ill-prepared.

Maybe the daylight helps conquer worry because it enables a person to take action, rather than lying in bed, staring at the ceiling as all those thoughts bounce around, trapped. If only someone were available for a carpet installation consult at 4am. Or if I could find a comfortable sleeping position...that might help too.